The Game
by eprime
Summary: Hogwarts-era. A late night marauders romp around Hogwarts where James and Sirius aren't as clever as they think they are.


"I can't believe you nicked their mirrors." Peter fidgeted nervously next to Remus. "They are going to _kill_ you."

"Keep it down," Remus whispered, flapping a hand at him. "Didn't exactly nick them, did I? They're still in the dorm."

"Yeah, but you put an anti-summoning charm on them, and you know they always take the mirrors with them when they go out. They'll go spare."

"Well, it's about time they learn not to put their faith in magical knick knacks. Mirrors are for cheaters." The grin that spread over Remus' face made Peter wring his hands, but at the same time he couldn't help but bounce a little in anticipation.

"Anyway, they've still got the cloak." Remus sniffed disdainfully.

"You took the map," Peter pointed out.

"Well, that's different, isn't it? We all had a hand in making it. We _earned_ the right to take it. Besides, you know Sirius has been holing it away in his trunk for days so they could have _that_ for themselves, too. Selfish bastards."

"I thought he warded his trunk."

"Ha!" Remus shoved Peter into the next corridor and they ran quickly and silently to the next intersection. "The day Sirius Black can best me at DADA is that I compose an epic poem of my love for the Giant Squid and recite it in the Great Hall at meal time. Naked," he added with particular emphasis.

"Is that why you had breasts last Saturday?"

"Shut it, Wormtail," Remus hissed. "Don't forget we're out past curfew."

The two boys crept around the corner, and Remus pulled out the map. James' marker was still idling in front of the door to the kitchens, but Sirius was on the move, heading down the Charms corridor at a rapid pace. "They must know we're watching them. They won't just come straight at us. Not unless it's part of a plan."

"So you think..."

"Yeah, they've set traps."

Peter swore. "They were missing for two whole hours yesterday. James said they were out on the Quidditch pitch trying out his new broom, but it was all drizzly and you know how Sirius hates to get rained on."

"Yeah," Remus said darkly.

"I could send Wormtail ahead to check things out."

"They'll have thought of that. I'd be surprised if they haven't set up some particularly nasty low-lying jinxes. We'll use Wormtail, but for now stay close and let's be more careful checking for trip wards."

Looking a bit pale, Peter nodded, but his eyes glinted in fierce determination. "Right, then. Where are they now?"

"James is finally moving. Looks like he's headed toward Sirius. I think they'll converge...right in front of the Prefect's Bath."

"Kitchens...charms...Prefect's Bath..." Gnawing his thumbnail with a look of intense concentration, Remus ran through the possibilities in lightning-fast speed. Thinking on one's feet was a rather necessary hallmark of being acquainted with James and Sirius. "What are they up to?"

Peter narrowed his eyes in thought. "What's in the Charms class that they'd want? Most of the good stuff is in the Potions lab or the Transfiguration classroom."

"There's nothing in there, only..." Remus snapped his fingers. "That's it! Remember Flitwick moaning about having to give the First Years a remedial lesson in hover charms after the last exam results?"

"Yeah, so?" Peter furrowed his brow. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Did you notice that big box behind Flitwick's desk the other day? What's inside?"

Comprehension lit up Peter's face. "Oh! Feathers!"

"Shh!" Remus tapped his wand on the top of Peter's head, and Peter shivered as the cold, slimy feeling of a Disillusionment charm spread down his body. "I hear something." Remus did the charm on himself, and they shrank against the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

Filch stomped into the corridor, muttering under his breath, and not even casting the flicker of a glance at Remus and Peter flattened against the wall. They had almost breathed sighs of relief when a loud popping sound made them jump, and a cascade of glittery sparks showered down over the caretaker.

When the glitter had settled, it was all they could do to keep from giving away their position. They sank down to the floor, doubled-over and shoving their fists into their mouths to stifle their laughter. Filch was dressed in nothing but a delicate pink tutu, white tights, and ballet shoes that laced up his calves and tied off in an elegant bows.

Once Filch's curses had faded way, they wiped their eyes and sat up. "I _knew_ Sirius was much too alert in Muggle Studies last Tuesday." Remus got to his feet and offered Peter a hand up.

"You know that was meant for us, don't you?" Peter look vaguely horrified even as he let out another giggle.

"Yes, well, they're going to have to be a lot cleverer than that to catch us out. It's..." Remus trailed off, staring into the middle distance.

"What?"

"Bugger _me_," Remus swore, striding swiftly down to the edge of the corridor. He waved his wand, muttering under his breath, and a web of glowing red light gradually brightened until they could see it spanned the height and width of the corridor. "It'll take me a good half hour to unravel that."

Peter darted back the other way, his nose twitching at the familiar tingle of magic as he stopped short a good few feet away from the end of the hall. A spoken word illuminated the web of ward lines on that end, as well. "We are so dead."

Neither one of them needed to check the map to know James and Sirius were converging on the corridor with all due speed.

"We're not done for yet, Pete." Eyes flashing with excitement, Remus ran back to the middle of the hallway. "Time for Wormtail to make an appearance."

Without question, Peter shrank down to his animagus form and scurried up to Remus. "Just freshen this up for you." Remus strengthened the Disillusionment charm on them both, then levitated Wormtail to the ceiling and secured him there with a mild sticking charm. "When the moment is right..." He made a gesture and Wormtail squeaked in response.

Grinning madly, Remus cast a spell on his hands and feet. "I've always wanted to try this." On the wall opposite the tapestry, Remus began to slowly crawl up the wall. Moving from the plane of the wall to the ceiling was the tricky part, and he swung loose for a heart-wrenching moment, one arm and leg dangling free as Wormtail squeaked frantically. Then he got purchase again and inched along until he was hanging upside down in the center of the hall.

It wasn't a moment too soon. They heard James and Sirius before they saw them, of course.

"I think we've caught a little mousie in our trap, Padfoot. What do you think?" James' voice was gleeful and mocking.

"I think you're right, Prongs. Or perhaps a little Moony." Sirius gave a quiet, yipping howl, and Remus narrowed his eyes.

"Perhaps _both_. Come out, come out, where ever you are..."

Their ringing laughter made Wormtail's nose quiver with indignation, and Remus craned his neck to give him a fierce look of encouragement. _Death or Glory_, he mouthed silently as James and Sirius rounded the corner. He could see their devilish grins through the criss cross of red wards, but he had the immense satisfaction of seeing their faces go slack when they realized the hallway was empty.

"Oh, fuck, no," James breathed.

Sirius laughed low. "Oh, Moony, you devious bastard.

A few quick flicks, and the wards keyed to James' signature fell away. Wands out, they advanced a few steps, scenting the air for trouble. Sirius shot a few bolts of light down the hall, but they did nothing but bounce of the wards at the other end and fizzle out.

Remus watched James nudge Sirius and point at the tapestry. Sirius nodded and they took a couple of steps closer.

_Just a little more_, Peter and Remus thought, holding their breath as James and Sirius ended up directly beneath them.

Remus jerked his head and Wormtail plummeted down, digging his claws into James' shoulder and then burrowing down the back of shirt quick as a wink. Fortunately, James was still wearing his school slacks and his untucked shirt, and Wormtail was able to wriggle his way down his pant leg, despite the wild flailing that James was currently engaging in.

Sirius jerked around to gape at him and Remus thought it was really too bad that Sirius had decided to wear his tight jeans. No way Wormtail could work his way up high enough to-

James' shriek reached an octave that put Celestina Warbeck's best effort to shame, and he clawed desperately between his legs until Remus saw the telltale bulge shimmy down James' leg and make for the edge of the wall. Sirius was looking around wildly, casting hexes indiscriminately until a jellylegs jinx caused James to collapse in a still whimpering heap.

Remus took that as his cue, letting himself drop toward Sirius and twisting as best he could as he fell. Sirius cried out, and they tumbled painfully to the stone floor. Definitely not Remus' best plan, but he went with it, whipping his wand out and casting _Rictusempra_ before Sirius could get his breath back. Sirius immediately began writhing, laughing hysterically all the while. Sirius _was_ the most ticklish of the four them. Remus almost felt guilty. Almost.

They were making an awful lot of noise, though, and Remus knew better than to count on a run of luck. "Keep an eye on James," he murmured to Wormtail, who he could just make out blending into the cracked stones at the base of the wall.

He pulled the map out and scanned it rapidly. "Bollocks! Filch is heading back this way fast, and he's got Slughorn with him."

Wormtail squeaked, and Remus sent an absentminded stinging hex to James' hand as he tried to reach for his wand that he'd flung away in his desperate attempt to get Wormtail out of his pants.

Remus paced back and forth trying to work out a solution. The wards still blocked the one exit, and he didn't want to end up wearing a tutu either. Filch and Slughorn were making a beeline for the unblocked end.

What they needed was a bolt hole. Why weren't there any blasted tunnels or secret chambers on the seventh floor? Huffing, Remus cast another stronger stinging hex on James, wishing Sirius would laugh a bit more quietly so a bloke could _think_, when Wormtail's frantic squeaking drew his attention to the door that had materialized out of the blank wall.

"Bugger me," Remus said for the second time that night. He didn't waste time opening the door, and he actually chortled when he saw what was inside. "Well, Peter," he said, turning to survey the woeful state of his other two best friends. "Shall we leave them to their fate? Toss them to the wolves?"

The air around Wormtail shimmered, and Peter stood there snickering at the death glare James shot him. Sirius, he was sure, would have been shooting him death glares, as well, if he could stop laughing to do it. "Hm, I think we should take pity on them. _If_ they concede the game."

_Accio_ wands." Remus caught their wands neatly, murmured the counter spell for Sirius, and smirked. "Sounds fair to me, Pete. What do you say? Prongs? Padfoot?"

"Lupin, you are _so_-"

"Shh!" Remus winked, waving the map at them. "They're almost here." He and Peter stepped into the newly discovered room and starting slowly swinging the door shut. "Going once..."

The sound of hurried footsteps could be heard clattering on the stone floor.

"Going twice..."

James and Sirius exchanged meaningful glances.

"Going three times..." The door closed inexorably until only a crack remained when James and Sirius cried out, "Wait!"

"Fine," James snapped.

"Say it," Remus prompted, opening the door wider.

"We concede," they both gritted out, looking as if it had cost them a lung to do it.

Remus and Peter reached out and dragged them into the room. The door clicked shut just as Filch's angry murmur could be heard around the corner.

Inside, the room was small and cozily lit by a welcoming fire, smaller than the one in their common room. Large, plush pillows were scattered about and a table in a corner held a case of chilled butterbeer. It was the perfect place for four friends to lie low and have a laugh over the night's adventures.

Several impressions of James' falsetto later, they were all relaxed and sleepy and ready to head back to Gryffindor Tower. Yawning and scratching their stomachs, they staggered to their feet and check the map once more to make sure the way was clear.

"Say," Peter asked suddenly. "What was with all the feathers anyway?"

"Oh, that." James and Sirius exchanged grins. "We transfigured them all into ducklings. They'll imprint on the first Prefect to use the bath tomorrow morning."

Everyone snickered, but Remus fixed them with an exasperated stare. "That's when Snape always uses it, isn't it?"

"Yeah, first Saturday of every month like clockwork." Sirius smirked and James and Peter collapsed into giggles again. Remus rolled his eyes, but shoved them toward their affectionately. "Idiots."

James and Peter slipped down the hall right away, but Remus stood in the open door for a moment, smiling thoughtfully as he replayed the events of the night. Sirius nudged him and grinned. "I really need to learn to stop underestimating you."

"You do," Remus agreed, his own grin spreading wide. "Peter, too."

"Yeah, I suppose I do at that." Sirius reached over to settle his hand on Remus' shoulder and squeezed lightly. "Mostly you, though."

Rather self-consciously, they continued to look at each other, their smiles gradually fading away. It was a strangely charged moment and neither one of them was quite sure why. Flustered, Remus cleared his throat and cast a look over his shoulder, gasping as he saw the room had changed into something completely different.

His reaction made Sirius look, as well, and he did a double take, fully turning to peer into what was now a tiny broom cupboard that would only be able to fit the two of them if they were crammed in at extremely close quarters. Certainly, it would never have held the four of them.

"I wonder why it's a broom cupboard now." Remus frowned thoughtfully.

"Dunno," said Sirius. He was tempted for a moment to step inside with Remus and see what other secrets the room might have.

But Remus' voice broke into his thoughts. "I guess we should be getting back."

"Yeah. Yeah, I reckon so." They could always come and investigate another time.

Feeling oddly reluctant, Remus reached for the knob, and it almost sounded like a sigh as the door swung shut and faded into the wall.

"Shall we, Mr. Moony?" Sirius indicated the open corridor with a broad flourish of his hand.

"We shall, Mr. Padfoot."

Arms slung around each other's shoulders, they made their way back to the dormitory to dream of friendship and never ending games and rooms full of secrets.


End file.
